Over the years, I’ve been labelled with "depression", "anxiety", "hypochondria" and "over-active imagination" by doctors who couldn’t be bothered to figure out what was really wrong. When I was married, my symptoms were blamed on resenting my husband telling me what to do and when I was divorced, not having a husband was the cause of them; I’ve heard from numerous other female patients that, whatever their marital status, they’re told the solution is to change it – if you’re married, divorce him; if you’re divorced, get remarried.
And heaven help you if you’re a middle-aged never-married woman! They’re sure you’re just depressed because you’re an old maid, and that you’re an old maid because you’re a whiner and a hypochondriac and scared off all the men who might have married you.
In fact, every time doctors have taken the time to search out the root of the problem, they’ve found something very wrong with me.
The pain was not somehow all in my head – it was in my fractured spine. When that was treated, my pain was substantially reduced. Handing out psychiatric drugs is not the correct treatment for broken bones under any circumstances. But because I had that prior CFS diagnosis, all I was given was Advil and anti-depressants, and a line of BS that it couldn’t possibly hurt that much, they weren’t going to give me pain pills because I might become addicted to them, just ignore the pain. Anyone else with a fractured spine would’ve been put in traction and kept there for weeks to make sure it didn’t get worse and paralyze them; I was being encouraged to do all the things that a spinal fracture patient should never do, because no one thought it necessary to look for the cause of the pain.
The generalized not feeling well also was not all in my head. Eventually, someone did a non-specific blood test for inflammation/infection. That test didn’t identify precisely what virus was causing the problem, but it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was something going on in my body, not my head. It had nothing to do with my marital status at all.
The fact is, these quacks are half-right. The problem with CFS really is "in your head", just not the way they think. Brain scans and MRIs show a variety of problems in the brain, ranging from lesions to reduced blood flow. Neurological testing shows abnormalities. Autopsies have shown viral damage to the brain and spinal cord. Those things can’t be caused by someone just deciding that they don’t want to work any more.
I am here and writing this blog despite doctors, not because of them. They very easily could have killed me on a number of occasions with their complete ignorance of what CFS is and how it can be treated.
More than 3/4 of CFS patients report bad experiences with doctors, doctor-recommended treatments making them worse – some have even committed suicide because doctors refused to take their complaints seriously. As would anyone else with chronic pain that’s left untreated because the doctor has all sorts of crackpot theories about how you can fix it yourself without medication; it’s a wonder we don’t have more CFS/fibro patients jumping off bridges and putting their migraine-y heads on railroad tracks to avoid another 20 years of non-stop pain, and verbal abuse from the people they rely on to ease the pain.
Yet, when the patient turns snarky on the doctor and hands out the same verbal abuse she’s getting, the doctor starts *itching about respect. Nope, you’ve got to EARN my respect, and you’re not earning it by treating me with disrespect and contempt.