Friday, January 16, 2009
The importance of a Guardian Angel
Another patient recently observed to me that at a crucial time, when she needed to be able to think and speak clearly, it was like a guardian angel helped her to do just that.
I also believe that I have a guardian angel looking after me.
Things were going straight downhill for me. The doctors I had weren't willing to do anything useful (even when I told them what to do), no other doctor was interested in taking on a CFS patient, and the CFS specialists in town (now both retired) weren't taking new patients (and hadn't been for quite some time).
Then a very dear friend died, and within a week it was clear she had marched right up, tugged on The Lord's sleeve, and said "my friend needs help". A new doctor was willing to see me -- he's not a CFS specialist, but he's willing to learn. Another doctor advertised for patients to join a clinical trial of experimental sleeping pills -- exactly what I'd asked the other doctors for and they'd refused to even consider it -- and those pills worked for me. One thing after another fell into place once Kat got to Heaven.
She even directs my workflow. At the times I'm sickest, either there's nothing coming in or there's nothing with a crucial deadline coming in. When I have it in me to work, she sees to it that I have just enough; there's very rarely more than I can handle. And, after a couple years of me trying to manage on my own without backup, I'm convinced that it was Kat who led a friend -- who'd been resisting my efforts to get her into the business -- to a job where she learned to do exactly what I do, and, once she'd learned the necessary skills, got her into another job where she could do proofreading on the side. On the rare occasions that I have to hand off work, I now have someone competent and reliable to give it to.
I've even had a client promise me time-critical work "over the weekend", I don't feel up to working over the weekend, and the work doesn't actually materialize till I feel better, because something happened to prevent the client from doing her portion of the job over the weekend -- making it her fault, not mine, that the deadline was missed. Or should we say, my Guardian Angel's fault?
When I had to replace my fridge, extra work came in that just about covered the cost. The same when I've had to replace my computer.
From time to time, when I've not felt up to concentrating on work at all, no work has come in. Yet, as another patient/activist has observed, at times that she's too sick to do anything else, somehow she is able to write, and I have noticed the same thing. Three decades ago, even though I typed pretty fast/accurately with the four-finger method, a one-semester Personal Typing class fit into my class schedule, and I came out of it a touch typist. Which means that I can now lie in bed on days I'm too sick to lift my head off the pillow and type first drafts of articles with my eyes closed. (OK, that happened before Kat got involved, but someone made sure I would have that skill when I needed it.)
Lately, I've been tossing around some possibilities, and it's pretty clear I have the go-ahead from on high, because one day this past week my horoscope made reference to one of them and yesterday it made reference to the other. And not just vague reference, either -- it spelled out exactly the project I've been working on, and said it would be successful.